I HAVE BEEN MEANING TO WRITE ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE WITH THIS PHRASE BUT IT TRULY IS A HARD TOPIC TO EVEN THINK ABOUT. SO IN TRIBUTE TO THE MONTH OF OCTOBER AND BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH HERE IT GOES.
THREE YEARS AGO IN SEPTEMBER ADAM AND I FOUND OUT WE WERE EXPECTING, THIS WAS A COMPLETE SURPRISE TO US AND WHEN WE TOLD OUR PARENTS THEY WERE JUST AS SURPRISED BUT TOTALLY EXCITED.
I HAD A GREAT PREGNANCY, NO SICKNESS JUST THE USUAL ACHE AND PAINS, IN THE MIDDLE OF OCTOBER AS I WAS ABOUT 15 WEEKS PREGNANT MY MOM WENT IN FOR SURGERY, I HAD THE DAY OFF SO I DECIDED TO GO AND STAY WITH MY DAD AT THE HOSPITAL AND KEEP HIM COMPANY, I REMEMBER THIS DAY LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY, I ARRIVED AT HE HOSPITAL AND FOUND OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT MY MOM HAD HAD BREAST IMPLANTS AND THAT SHE THOUGHT ONE OF THEM WAS LEAKING AND THAT WAS WHAT THIS SURGERY WAS FOR. I WAS A LITTLE CAUGHT OFF GUARD BUT I COULD COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WHY SHE HAD NEVER TOLD ME, I MET THE DR AND THEN SHE WAS OFF TO SURGERY.
IT WAS PLANNED TO BE ABOUT A THREE HOUR SURGERY SO I TOOK MY DAD TO LUNCH AND WE DID A LITTLE SHOPPING FOR THE BABY THEN WE WENT BACK TO MY MOM'S ROOM AND DIDN'T WAIT VERY LONG BEFORE HER DOCTOR CAME IN, HE HAD A VERY SOLEMN LOOK AND HIM FACE AND CONTINUED ON TO EXPLAIN TO ME AND MY DAD THAT HE HAD FOUND A MASS IN HER BREAST AND THAT IT HAD BEEN SENT TO THE LAB AND HAD BEEN IDENTIFIED AS CANCER AND IT WAS MALIGNANT.....
THE INSTANT I HEARD MALIGNANT AND BREAST I BROKE DOWN CRYING HYSTERICALLY, HE URGED US TO CALM DOWN BECAUSE HE HAD NOT HAD THE CHANCE TO TELL MY MOM YET. WELL I TRIED TO CALM DOWN THE BEST I COULD BUT AS SOON AS SHE WAS WHEELED INTO THE ROOM I BROKE DOWN AND RAN INTO THE BATHROOM AND HAD ANOTHER BREAKDOWN,
A THOUSAND THINGS WERE RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND BUT THE MAIN CONCERN WAS THAT I WAS CARRYING HER 1ST GRAND BABY AND SHE MIGHT NOT BE AROUND TO SEE HER.
WELL AFTER THAT MY MOM STAYED SO STRONG AND WENT INTO EVERYTHING WITH FULL FORCE. SHE SHAVED HER HEAD AFTER HER FIRST ROUND OF CHEMO, GOT HER MASTECTOMY, AND CONTINUED TO BE MY ROCK WHEN I HAD MY CONCERNS OF BEING A MOTHER.
I HAVE TO SAY THAT I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL FOR MY AUNT DEANNE WHO WAS ALWAYS THERE TO DRIVE MY MOM TO HER CHEMO APPT AND BACK, AND FOR SITTING WITH HER WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE THE EMOTIONAL STATE OF MIND TO GO. THANK YOU...
SO MOM STARTED HER CHEMO IN JANUARY AND DID ONE FULL WEEK ON AND THEN SHE HAD THREE WEEKS OFF AND THEN IT STARTED ALL OVER AGAIN. IT WAS SO HARD FOR ME TO SEE HER HOOKS UP TO ALL THE LINES AND GETTING THAT DREADFUL/KILLER MEDICINE...BUT DEEP DOWN I HOPED THAT EVERYTHING WAS GOING BE OK, NO WAY WOULD MY MOM NOT BE ABLE TO BE HERE FOR HER GRAND BABY...
I WENT THROUGH A TERRIBLE DEPRESSIVE STATE BECAUSE I COULDN'T GO SIT WITH MY MOM BECAUSE I COULDN'T BE STRONG FOR HER WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN AND I FELT LIKE THE WORST DAUGHTER IN THE WORLD, I MEAN HONESTLY WHAT KIND OF DAUGHTER CAN'T GO AND SIT WITH HER MOM IN HER TIME OF NEED.
IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT ALL OF THESE THINGS HAPPENED FOR A REASON, MY MOM BEING A NURSE AND DOING THE THINGS SHE WAS TOLD TO DO, DO MONTHLY CHECKUPS AND KNOWING THAT SOMETHING DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT AND THAT RIGHT THERE HELPED SAVE HER LIFE
I WENT ON WITH MY PREGNANCY AND EVERYTHING SEEMED TO BE GOING RIGHT ON SCHEDULE UNTIL THEY FOUND OUT THAT IZZY WAS BREACH AND THEY NEEDED TO DO A C SECTION. GREAT....
EVERYTHING WENT GREAT WITH THE C SECTION AND SUDDENLY MY MOM AND DAD BECAME GRANDPARENTS...
THE JOY THAT CAME ON THEIR FACES WHEN THEY CAME INTO MY ROOM AND SAW OUR IZZY FOR THE FIRST TIME WAS INCREDIBLE AND I WAS SO RELIEVED BECAUSE MY MOM WAS HERE AND READY TO DO HER LAST ROUND OF CHEMO....
BECAUSE OF HER CHEMO SCHEDULE SHE WAS ABLE TO STAY THE FIRST TWO DAYS AT HOME WITH ME AND IZZY AND THEN HER WEEK FROM HELL STARTED, I WAS STILL HEALING FROM MY C SECTION SO I DECIDED TO SPEND A WEEK WITH MY MOTHER IN LAW, WHO WAS EXTREMELY HELPFUL.
MY FIRST DAY ALONE, APRIL 28TH THREE DAYS AFTER MY MOMS LAST ROUND OF CHEMO SHE CALLS ME AND TELLS ME THAT MY DAD HAD AN ACCIDENT WITH THEIR BUZZ SAW...
LETS JUST SAY I FREAKED OUT AGAIN, THIS TIME I HAD ALL OF THESE CRAZY HORMONES...
YET AGAIN ANOTHER MIRACLE,
HE FELL INTO THIS AND ALMOST SAWED HIS HEAD OFF!!!!!
THANK GOODNESS MY MOM WAS A NURSE AND KICKED INTO NURSE MODE WHEN SHE FOUND HIM AND WAS ABLE TO STAY FOCUSED AND CALM TO CALL 911 AND HER NEIGHBOR WHO WAS ABLE TO RUSH RIGHT OVER AND GIVE HIM A BLESSING, EVEN THOUGH THIS PARTICULAR NEIGHBOR DOES NOT DO WELL WITH BLOOD,
THANK GOODNESS MY MOM WAS ABLE TO GET AN IV LINE INTO HIM BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE COULD...
THANK GOODNESS THEY WERE ABLE TO LIFE FLIGHT HIM FROM DRIGGS TO IDAHO FALLS...
THANK GOODNESS TWO DEAR FRIENDS WERE ABLE TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER PRIESTHOOD BLESSING BEFORE HE GOT INTO THE HELICOPTER....
THANK GOODNESS THE NEORSURGEON WHO FILLS IN ONCE A MONTH AT EIRMC HAPPENED TO BE THERE IN THE HOSPITAL WHEN MY DAD ARRIVED....
AND FINALLY THANK GOODNESS FOR THE MANY MANY PEOPLE WHO WITH JUST A PHONE CALL INSTANTLY FELL TO THEIR KNEES IN PRAYER OR CALLED AND PUT HIS NAME IN THE MANY TEMPLES ACROSS THE COUNTRY...THANK YOU ALL
THESE THINGS ALL HAPPENED FOR A REASON, TO SAVE MY DADS LIFE...I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THESE THINGS
ALL OF THESE THINGS HAPPENED FOR A REASON, TO HELP SAVE MY DADS LIFE AND KEEP HIM HERE ON THIS EARTH FOR A LITTLE LONGER...
AND FINALLY THIS IS THE REASON THAT
THIS LITTLE MIRACLE NEEDED TO BE COME HERE AT THE EXACT TIME SHE DID BECAUSE I KNOW THAT SHE GAVE MY MOM, MY DAD AND ME THE STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH THOSE 8 OR SO MONTHS. I LOVE HER DEARLY AND I KNOW THAT SHE HOLDS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY PARENTS HEARTS, FOR SHE IS WHAT THEY LIVED FOR...
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, IT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE IT AT THE TIME BUT EVENTUALLY IT ALL PANS OUT...
I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THE POWER OF THE PRIESTHOOD, FOR TEMPLES, FOR PRAYER AND FOR CARING FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOR WITHOUT THESE THINGS I WOULD NOT BE SANE..........!!!!
( PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT I AM ABOUT READY TO MAKE THIS PRIVATE JUST FOR MY OWN PERSONAL JOURNAL KEEPING BECAUSE I DON'T THINK ANYONE READS IT.....) <3
9 comments:
so glad i found you!! wow you have such a strong family!!! things definitely do happen for a reason!
I love you Katie, it is incredible to think of the things your family has been through in these last couple of years, yet you are all strong and so blessed!
Reading this post brought back so many memories! I was around when all this happened to you and your family. I remember thinking how strong you were. You may have thought you weren't being strong, but you really were, and I KNOW your mom is so thankful for everything you did. I miss you so much, and if you go private invite me because I love reading about whats going on with you.
That was a great post! It made me cry! Thank you so much for sharing an amazing story as well as your testimony :)
haha nobody reads about you?? Its just part of the blogging world to make sure no one knows you are stalking them! Of course we read about you! And what a beautiful thing to have shared with us.. what an incredible family. I can only imagine how hard those months must have been, but what a wonderful experience that you are able to see the hand of the Lord in your lives... that is such a blessing.
Aren't babies wonderful! What a rare and wonderful gift to ba able to see good in all of that tragedy! If you do go private I would love to keep reading it! I can't believe it's already been more than TWO years since we had our girls! Crazy to think where we were 3 years ago, pregnant and excited and nervous!
BTW do you live near Boise? I forget, Jordan's brother might be getting a job in Boise and I am really dogging Jordan about moving there too ;-)
Katie, I love reading your blog. I love your mom and dad. And I love you.
Thanks for your post.
You and your family are very strong. What a great post. Every thing does happen for a reason. It is frustrating sometimes because we don't know what the reason may be. Hang in there
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